"I fell 1,000ft and came up smiling"

Firstly, apologies for using the Evening Standard's approach to news-stand advertising - i.e. use a headline to entice readers, that is openly misleading and which has little to do with the real "story".

The headline refers to Adam Potter who thought “This is going to hurt,” as he fell off the side of a Scottish mountain on Saturday afternoon.

The climber, who dumbfounded rescuers by being both alive and able to stand up after falling 1,000 feet off the Highlands peak, told yesterday of the moment he realised that it was rather a long way down the mountainside.

There is very little similarity between Mr Potter's fall and mine on Saturday morning, for whilst Adam fell 1,000ft, I slipped less than 1ft before falling on my backside and wrist, with little to show for it other than a severely bruised thumb!

However, the point of this story actually has nothing to do with my injury per se, although it does have something to do with accidents in general.

What actually prompted this blog was the news that New York City is proposing to ban the use of electronic devices whilst crossing roads! This is in partial response to stories such as that of 15-year-old Alexa Longueira who was walking in Staten Island, New York, texting on her phone when she fell into an open manhole, receiving minor injuries (Reports that she was saved from serious injury by a group of Mutant Ninja Turtles are, I believe, unsubstantiated).

Last week, I also reported on the woman who whilst texting fell into a shopping mall fountain.

Now there is only one eventual outcome to such events, and that involves those individuals who we lovingly know as 'Health & Safety officials".

The natural extension of these actually true stories, is that any activity that involves doing more than one thing at once, will no doubt ultimately be declared too dangerous and therefore carry an immediate ban!

For those of you who think that there may be some sense in this I should make clear that "breathing" will be counted as the first activity, and therefore we will be stopped from doing absolutely everything!

Whilst some wish to excuse Miss Longueira's apparent stupidity by claiming that there were a lack of warning signs around the open manhole, many observers almost completely blame her for not seeing it and for being completely detached from her surroundings.

As far as I'm concerned, there is in fact plenty of statistical evidence to suggest that even if there had been a number of yellow, plastic hazard signs in front of the manhole, all that would have happened would have been that Miss Longueira would have tripped over these first before falling headlong into the manhole!

And so, with all form of movement about to be banned on health and safety grounds, it is only a matter of time before all Trailwalker events around the world are cancelled. Walking, talking, eating, map-reading atop steep slopes, along rough tracks, in the dark and in (potentially) high winds will be declared more hazardous than free-fall sky-diving without a parachute!

So to cut a very long story short, 2011 may be the very last year to take part in this great challenge and raise vast sums for charity...so let's make the most of it.

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Third Training Walk completed - Inspiration, perspiration & liquidification

There have been many moments throughout history where events have turned due to the inspirational words of others. For example: -

• Martin Luther King's - "I have a dream"
• JFK's - "Ask not what your country can do for you", and
• Barak Obama's - "Yes we can!"

Three speeches that "defined the moment"!

Such was also the case yesterday morning. As the four of us stood at the start of Stage 3 of the Trailwalker UK route, there was "pinging noise" that signalled the arrival of a text message, that was (initially) so inspiring, and (initially) so uplifting on this VERY cold January morning.

Rob read out the message as the three of us gathered around him. The message is worth repeating in full...

"A real man is a woman's best friend,

He will never stand you up, 

and never let you down

He will reassure you when you feel insecure, 

and comfort you after a bad day

He will inspire you to do things you never thought you could do

He will enable you to express deepest emotions,

and give in to your most intimate desires

He will make you feel confident & sexy, 

seductive and invincible...

as men it made us feel so positive about ourselves as we were about to set off. Then  a second "ping" signalled the arrival of a further text message, which read:

"...Sorry, really sorry!...it's wine that does all of that!. Wine, not men!"

Cold, deflated and dejected we set off up the hill.

After this early upset the walk was actually not too bad. Jan & Elek (see January 28th entry for introduction to these two fine Poles!) soon got into their stride and were a great help as we climbed up Hill Barn Lane. However, later in the walk when they failed to stop my second fall in a week, thoughts of immigration control, and deportation came to mind. But maybe they deserve a second chance, and maybe - especially after I had spent some time inadvertently hanging the two of them upside down - they had felt that I might benefit from some time in a cold distant land.

 

The long...and not so winding road

I fear we may have been walking back in time...Londinium?

Apparently, this will be a corn field in July!

Hopefully Toby wasn't a Trailwalker competitor!

Two miles to go to the end of this training walk...

Despite some trials and tribulations, some quite bizarre conversations, one fall, and a strange surplus fluid situation (!?!) we finished our 19.2k walk in 3hrs 20 mins!

Next team walk is on March 5th...when we'll be increasing the distance!


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Team size increased to 6 - is this allowed?

As we prepare to set off on our 3rd 20km+ training walk tomorrow, I will be introducing two new additions to the team. They are two Poles who, like me, have never actually been to Poland, but have all of the characteristics that one associates with that fine country.

They are strong, lean and upright and promise to assist me over the course of the walk, in particular on the steeper sections, where they will hopefully lend additional support on both the ascents and descents, so that I don't repeat the slightly embarrassing episode from the last walk where I lost my footing and nearly slipped to the bottom of one of the hills!

Hiking in Poland is the most popular of outdoor activities, and not without reason. The most popular hiking routes are those in the Tatra Mountains but the Pieniny, the Bieszczady or the Karkonosze are all options.

Poland has about a thousand caves, mostly in the uplands near Kraków and in the Tatra Mountains. For those unwilling to plunge into uncharted blackness, a handful of caves are adapted for the spatially-sane. The most spectacular of these are the Bear's Cave near Klodzko and the Paradise Cave near Kielce.

Marked hiking trails are abundant and marked on most maps. The hiking is fantastic as Poland is full of forests and changing wildlife throughout the year (e.g. storks in the summer on the Baltic coast and deer throughout the year).

For this reason, I am hoping that Jan & Elek, as I (in the style of Miranda's mother) call them, will be 'hiking poles' that I will soon wonder how I ever did without!

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Nelson Mandela and my day in Church

Today, I spent the day in church!

To be more precise, it was in fact a cathedral, Southwark Cathedral, and for those of you who have never been, please do visit it, because it is stunning.

Now, this was a work day, and whilst I occasionally would welcome some divine inspiration to assist with what needs to be done in relation to 9-5 activities, the fact was that we had chosen the conference centre attached (physically) to the cathedral, as an inspirational venue to hold a team "offsite".

As we spent the day looking to see how we could act with more "courageous integrity" in everything that we do, we were advised of the fact that Nelson Mandella, a true exponent of courageous integrity, had in fact opened the conference centre some 10 years earlier.

It was therefore even more saddening to read on my journey home that the "great man" himself was not in the best of health. Best wishes Sir for a speedy recovery!!!

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Trailwalker UK Theme Tune Poll - very "spooky" results

After a week of frenzied (hah!) voting, the results are now in:-

3rd most popular song - "I'm walking on sunshine" - Katrina and the Waves

2nd most popular song - "These boots were made for walking" - Nancy Sinatra

And the winner is....

"I would walk five hundred miles" - The Proclaimers!!

Now, before I get inundated (chance would be a fine thing!) with comments from Proclaimers' fans, I should point out that the actual song title was in fact "I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)", but there is I believe a more sinister fact that needs to be highlighted.

The Proclaimers, are in fact twin brothers Charlie & Craig Reid from Leith in Scotland.

which isn't the spooky fact....but this is...

If you use the RAC Route Planner, and enter the journey from Leith to the start of the Trailwalker UK walk (Queen Elizabeth Park, Postcode PO8 0QE) it will show the distance as 705km.

If you then add the 100km distance of the walk itself you end up with a total distance of 805km.

I'm sure you will have guessed the answer by now, but, extremely spookily, if you convert 805km....it works out at exactly FIVE HUNDRED MILES!!!

So a random poll, open to the world, produces a winning tune, the lyrics of which includes the line "...I would walk 500 miles" which is the exact distance that the singers of that song would have to walk from their home to the finish line of Trailwalker UK on Brighton Racecourse.

It therefore goes without saying that my next poll will be for the Top 6 songs containing any number fro 0 to 49!!!!

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A step too far?

There was a point after we had finished our walk on Sunday when the size of the task ahead of us hit me. We had completed the walk and were driving back from the end of Stage 2 to the start where we had left Pete's car, when I said, does anybody fancy doing that again...and again....and again.....again?

20km at a steady pace was, as previously reported, a good workout - but the thought of increasing our training levels to such a degree that we are fit enough to undertake the final challenge, is quite daunting.

This isn't a walk in the park, some of the climbs were quite steep! Given that over the course of the walk you climb the equivalent of Ben Nevis and Snowdon combined, there clearly has to be a fair number of climbs along the way.

Our training walks will get longer, and will eventually include some preparation for walking across the Sussex Downs in the dark.

So why, you may ask, are we doing it?

There are numerous reasons:

1. Taking part in an event that challenges fitness, endurance and self motivation;
2. Competing the challenge itself along with any additional speed or endurance goals;
3. The ability to raise - with the extremely generous support of our friends and colleagues - a large amount of money for an excellent cause, and
4. The thought of the finish line on 17 July 2011

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Second Training Walk completed

Whilst the 6:30am alarm was much later than on a weekday, it still felt early enough for a Sunday, but with our second "team" walk ahead of us, which we wanted to complete in time for a Sunday lunch, we needed to leave home at 7:30am to get to our rendezvous point by 8:30.

All travel and pick up arrangements went went well, with the four of us we stood at what will be the start of the Trailwalker UK event by 9:00am.

Our walk took us from the start in the Queen Elizabeth Country Park to Cocking!

We started off in sunshine...

...although the clouds soon rolled in...

...we made good progress on the relatively easy first stage

...resisting the temptation of a seat in the sun, with wonderful views

a closer view of South Harting

...it could have been any way

...but unfortunately it was up a very steep hill

...where the views from the top were (almost) worth the climb

...sheep (believe it or not)

We needed our thermals...but I'm not sure this glider found many today!

In the distance the sea...

A distance of 20.3km which we completed in a time of 3 hours and 32 minutes, just over 18 hour pace for the full 100km!

With only a few blisters between us, and the team relatively intact we will undertake our third Training Walk in just 6 days time!

The link to the walk can be found in the right hand column.

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Location:Winnet Way,,United Kingdom

Are we being green...or are we simply "cabbage looking"?

One of the practical difficulties of team training, when the "team" are not all located in the same place, is the logistics involved. Tomorrow we are to set off on our second 20k walk, where we will walk the first two stages of the Trailwalker route, from the Queen Elizabeth Park near Buriton to Cocking.

Four men, out walking along the South Downs Way, enjoying, but not damaging the environment..or are we?

When one of the "team" lives nearer to the start of the route and three live nearer to the end, the issue of ensuring that we have transport at the start and the finish of each walk can be somewhat difficult, due to the fact the we are trying to complete the whole course in our training by completing at least two of the eleven stages on each training weekend.

The difficulty in walking along a section of the route is that if you leave your car at the start of the walk, it is a long way away from you at the end of the walk.

So tomorrow, three of us will drive to the end of Stage 2, where we will park and be picked up by Pete, who will drive us back to the start of Stage 1.

We will then all walk to the end of Stage 2, where will will get back in our car and drive Pete back to his car at the beginning of Stage 1.

We will then drive home, travelling alongside the route that we have already walked once and driven along twice!

During the course of the morning we will have walked the 13 mile route but will also have driven alongside it for 52 miles!

Green? I'm not so sure!

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Mind how you go!

About 20 years ago David, a blind work colleague, used to tell us stories about his "rogue" trainee guide-dog who had on occasions (mis)guided him up the middle of the road towards oncoming buses and had even once (mis)guided him into the middle of the fountain in Cardiff shopping centre!

David, through no fault of his own was simply "...led astray."

The same cannot be said for the women in the YouTube clip from the US that is currently doing the rounds (see below), who was totally responsible for her own actions as she inadvertently walked into the shopping centre fountain pool whilst texting!

Walking around, in some form of unconscious daze, or "textwalking", as it will no doubt come to be known, is either funny, dangerous, or a source of future employment for the nation's Health & Safety officials, depending upon your point of view.

(I do find it somewhat amusing that one of the biggest causes of accidents in the UK is caused by people tripping over the yellow plastic signs warning people of hazards!)

However, when watching the video below, watch for these three things:

Why did the couple who walked passed the unfortunate woman, not stop to help her? Did they not hear her splash?

What was the cleaner concerned with? The fact that poor young lady might be injured, or...the fact that she was making the floor wet?

Did the poor women think that nobody would have noticed her unfortunate mishap? Whether she did or not, her recovery and exit from the pool was quite remarkable.

Textwalker makes a Splash!

So the moral of this story? As Kipling said, "if you can keep your head, when all those around you are losing theirs...". Then quite simply, you don't understand the seriousness of the situation!!!

Good luck all and have a pleasant and safe weekend!

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Lies, damned lies and statistics!

It is true that yesterday's blog, contained statistics which, whilst accurate, may not have been a great deal of help in solving for some, what is a very real problem. For that, I apologise. But that is the problem with statistics.

For example, it is a reasonably well known fact that "1 in 5 of the world's population is Chinese", so that if you are a family of 4, then you each know where (and how tall) you stand, whereas if you are in a family of 5...!

Well, who is it?

I have cousins in America, and one of the families consists of Ang, Gabs, Phil, Jamie & and 斯蒂夫! Clearly, well statistically, one of them is Chinese, but I'm not quite sure which one...possibly Phil!

That is the problem with statistics. They rarely prove anything, but they are presented as though they prove everything.

Recently the London Evening Standard's "statistical offering" was:-

"...£40 a mile on the Tube...it's cheaper to fly to New York..."

Clearly, given that I travel on the Tube for 260 days a year, and for a journey that is most probably 4 miles each way, if the latter statistic is true, my annual season ticket would be £83,000 on top of the cost of getting to London.

Whilst expensive, it is somewhat less than this cost!

And then, on the opposite page to the above article there was an an article under the heading of: -

"Greenpeace fury over jet's US flight with just five people"

Apparently, an American Airlines flight from Chicago to Heathrow flew 5,000 miles with just 5 passengers on board, using 22,000 gallons of fuel, at a "real"cost of about £22k per passenger.

So with all of this statistical hogwash and angst at the cost of getting from A to B one thing is clear, both statistically and in reality. Thousands of people across the world will travel thousands of miles as part of the various Trailwalker challenges, and each mile walked will not cost them anything, but will raise hundreds of thousands of pounds for worthwhile causes! 

Overcoming your fears

Whilst the picture below - "Night of the Living Gingerbread" is a little bit creepy, it hopefully won't scare any but the most timid of souls.


However, there are other "fears" that may be more pertinent to some of those taking part in the Trailwalker UK event.

For some, it is the fear of the dark, that concerns them more than the challenge itself....whilst those that don't understand and who don't share the fear, simply say "...you should have grown out of that, you're an adult!"

But what do they know? I prefer to consider the statistical evidence.

So let's have a look at the facts.

1. It is generally accepted that to become an expert at anything - you need to practice for approximately 10,000 hours.
2. 10,000 hours equates to 36 million seconds.
3. There are approximately 31.5 million seconds in a year.
4. The average human blinks 15 times every minute
5. The average blink lasts one third of a second
6. The average human sleeps for 6 hours a night

Therefore, by applying the above statistics it can be shown that in an average year the average human spends 550 (waking, daylight) hours in the dark - when they are blinking, and presumably NOT being afraid!

To accumulate 10,000 hours of such 'fear-free' behaviour, takes 18 years.

So, what do you know? They were right. If you are over 18 years old you should simply be able to tell yourself that you cannot be afraid of the dark - because you have quite simply put in the hours...

...blinkin' obvious really.

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Be careful what you wish for!

There have been times in recent weeks when after a period of [what I call] exercise (e.g. lifting a pint of beer, raising my legs whilst someone hoovers underneath them etc etc) my body starts to ache and I wonder whether I'll ever get fit enough for the 2011 #Trailwalker UK Event. It is at times like this that I occasionally think, "...I wish I was as fit as when I was 18/19 years old."

Well yesterday, whilst at work, when reading an email I wondered why certain key words appeared to be missing from the body of the text, only to quickly realise that they weren't, it was just that I couldn't see them!

I was starting to have my first migraine headache in about 31/32 years - the last one being when I was about 18/19 years old - which I have just now slept off.

However, I am left with a head so fuzzy that it feels as though I have been at an all night party*. But I haven't...unless I've also started sleepwalking!

So, as I say "...be careful what you wish for!"

This is similar to the story of the married couple, both 60 years old, who were celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary. During their party a fairy appeared, congratulated them and granted them one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and POOF - the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise.

Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. He said, "I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me." So the fairy picked up her wand and POOF - the husband was 90!

I believe that that is actually a true story...

* N.B. -  if you had an all night party last night and some groaning 50 year old guy, wearing only his P-J's & holding his head, managed to gate-crash it, please let me know via this blog.

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If cleanliness is next to godliness...does that mean that fitness can't come after fatness?

OK you can call me pedantic (large cries of "You're pedantic!" instantly heard all across the blogosphere) but if cleanliness really is next to godliness, then my version of the dictionary is over burdened with a whole raft of words between C and G, that apparently have no meaning. Which won't come as welcome news to the employees at a well known UK Building Society!

Bizarrely, this would also include the word "dictionary", so if that has no actual meaning then maybe there isn't an issue after all.

I hope you're all keeping up with these inane ramblings, because there'll be questions later!

As for these questionable "in-between" words, I had hoped that "fitness" (i.e. Desired future state) would follow "fatness" (i.e. Regrettable current state), but if the ancient saying is to be believed, then this is unlikely to happen.

However, I will have to find a solution to this problem as having tried the 'Haircut Diet' at the weekend, I can now report that it was rubbish, and I lost no weight at all.

Now admittedly, I didn't have too much hair to start with, so any weight loss was always going to be minimal. In addition, having undertaken further research I have discovered that you would need to cut your whole head off if wanted to lose somewhere between 6 and 10 pounds, (the precise weight clearly dependent upon the size of one's head - and my head is large) so maybe I'll have to come up with an alternative strategy!

However, whilst I think about that, how do you think the saying "...running around like headless chickens" relates to the above?

Just a thought - but only just!

* due to items above in bold I am looking for a new self publicist!

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Location:Canary Wharf,United Kingdom

Best theme tunes for Trailwalker UK event?

100 kilometres is a very long way, and 30 hours is a very long time, so we will need plenty of music to keep us motivated along the route, so what are the 10 best tunes that we can come up with? No prizes, but it would be great if you could add to, and improve my initial list.

So here goes...

1. I would walk five hundred miles - The Proclaimers
2. What's that coming over the hill - The Automatic
3. Don't walk away - Jade
4. Walk of Life - Dire Straits
5. Walkin' in the Sunshine - Bad Manners
6. You'll Never Walk Alone - The Isley Brothers
7. Walk That Walk - Dorrough
8. These boots are made for walkin' - Nancy Sinatra
9. Walking after you - Foo Fighters
10. Run to the hills - Iron Maiden

...what do you think?

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Location:Cedar Dr,,United Kingdom