Monday 7 March 2011

WARNING! The secret dangers of Trailwalker & weight loss!

As we trekked across the South Downs on Saturday the following question was asked:

"How many steps do you think we'll take in completing the Trailwalker Challenge?"

Using an investigative journalist's standard procedure for obtaining information, i.e. Gather, Observe, Organise, Generate, Listen & Extract, I quickly discovered that one mile equates to about 2,000 steps. Therefore each person completing the Trailwalker Challenge will take about 124,000 steps.

Now, here's the scary part. When you combine the above fact with generally accepted knowledge about weight loss, you uncover a dark secret that is not explained in any of the Trailwalker literature!

Whilst it is known that quite a number of the teams never finish the Challenge, what is not explained is exactly where do they go?

I believe I have the answer, and I have had my analysis independently verified so I can confirm that the figures add up.

If we assume that the average weight of those taking part in the "Challenge" is 175lb, then it is generally accepted that such a person walking at a pace of 3.5 miles per hour will burn off 302 calories per hour, which equates to approximately 9,000 calories in 30 hours.

It has also been scientifically proven that for every 1,000 calories burned, 2lbs of weight is lost.

Now there will be approximately 550 teams, and therefore 2,200 people taking part in the "Challenge". 2,200 people will burn off a total of 19.8 million calories, which is the equivalent of nearly 40,000lbs in weight, or...

...228 people!!!

So it appears somewhat coincidental for Oxfam to claim that up to 60 teams can "...fail to finish" on the day. 

Fail to finish? They don't just fail to finish, they more or less evaporate. 

So there is only one answer. Forget about pre-event diets and fitness regimes. Feed yourselves up, unless you want to be one of the "Disappeared", never to be seen by friends or family again.

I am pleased to say that Rob in our team has already started this new strategy, as the rest of us witnessed on our walk on Saturday when we stopped for lunch. If he had been the Son of God, (which as far as I'm aware he isn't) he'd have been able to feed far more than the 5,000!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

3 comments:

  1. You have too much time on your hands - there's still ironing!!!!

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  2. Who undertook this independent verification? If we walk at 3.5miles an hour for 30hours we will have walked 105miles, in which case we would have burned the 9,000 calories that you stipulate. The downside is that we are only walking 62miles (or at least I am) and so at 3.5miles per hour I will only burn off 5,436 calories! Audit...out!

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  3. What do you want my next blog title to be..."Accountant saves 90 people!"?

    ReplyDelete